Lucky8: a shitposter's shittiest post
by Senpai2342
Summary: What could've been a great story. Just in the hands of the worst possible author... that's really bad at storytelling.
1. Chapter 1 Dorito Dorifto

A car.

 _There's a car parked at our front gate._

 _Dad, whose car is that?_

…

 _Dad?_

 _Listen son_

 _Yeah?_

 _Before your mother and i met …_

Dad began explaining his "bachelor days" if you will, back when he was still a street racer.

He said it started off as just a simple admiration towards cars, but it eventually grew into a hobby, a hobby that he apparently shared with Mom.

 _So you're telling me all this because?_

 _No particular reason_

 _Huh?Then why did you bring a car here?Don't tell me that was the car that you used._

 _Then i won't_

 _Haah?_

 _Look, just hop inside, you'll have your answers_

On the way to the front gate i noticed that the car was very reminiscent of that car i drove in Daytona USA on my SEGA SATURN-the one with poor handling smh-though there were a lot of noticeable changes, changes that i was eerily aware of.I then proceeded to "hop" in the car-seriously what does that even mean?-just as i was instructed.

 _It's a_ _Chevrolet Monte Carlo. Related to the Lumina but very different_

 _Oh, it looks familiar_

 _That's because you were five the last time i drove this_

 _Really?_

 _Not really, you were four_

 _The difference?_

 _You didn't have those dead eyes when you were four_

 _..._

Ouch dad, you really didn't have to remind me of my failed confession of love towards the always laughing enigma that goes by the name of Orimoto as weird as it may sound, she actually insisted that we be friends instead of … i really appreciate that, i don't know what would've happened to me if she rejected me in a very cruel way or if her "friends" were actually watching us.

 _Anyway, put your seatbelts on we're going to Mt. Nokogiri_

 _What?_

We then drifted our way through every corner and U-turn-or hairpin as dad likes to call about an hour or so of inertia drifting-hey dad was very good explaining things-we finally reached home.

 _So, how was it?_

… _Exciting..._

 _Hmm_

 _Blood rushing…_

 _Oh?_

 _Breathtaking…_

 _And?_

 _Wonderful_

 _Your point?_

 _It was very fast, so fast that i'm still running out of breath_

 _Seems to me that you ran out of adjectives more_

 _Yeah…_

 _Anyways, get some sleep you're still in middle school_

 _Hey Dad_

 _Yeah?_

 _Can i try Chiba's downhill?_

 _And how are you supposed to do that without a car?_

 _About that, can i borrow the car?_

 _Why so suddenly? You weren't interested in cars before_

 _Well, that's true, but earlier, when i was in the car, while you were driving, i just felt so many emotions running through me and i want to experience it again_

 _And?_

 _That's all_

 _Are you sure that's all?_

Honestly, it's not all.I've been feeling this for years now but i guess this'll be the first time i'm admitting it.

 _Actually it's not all. It's also the feeling of being important, being a part of something, being the driver ,no , being the star, the protagonist that i have never in my life been. So dad, can i borrow the car?_

 _You can't_

 _Oh, i guess i can't huh?_

 _Now, don't make that face. It's just that i'll be using the car every morning when i go to work_

 _Which means?_

 _Which means you can use it every night starting tomorrow_

 _Yes! Thanks Dad!_

 _Calm down, you're still overlooking some things, mainly two, wait three_

 _Really? What are they?_

 _Your Mom's permission_

 _OH! How could i forget!_

 _It's alright_

 _Mom?_

 _Well now that's settled_

 _Wait, how about the other things?_

 _Well, you don't know how to drive_

 _Yeah, about that. Dad, can you teach me?_

 _Sure_

 _And the other thing?_

 _Driver's License_


	2. Chapter 2 Eurobeat Or GayBona?

**A\N: Hello and welcome to another chapter of Lucky8! As you've probably seen in this fic's description, it's my first fanfic. And i'm really happy because i've never in my life written a piece of literature (or thrash) in the internet. So, about the very low word count of chap.1 It's because i didn't know if people would like lil' ol' 8 in a car, driving. So i tried to put out a sample fic of sorts first. To see if people would like it. And, i guess some did? So yeah. Thanks for reading the last fic. Hope you enjoyed it. If not, then i hope this will. Anyways thanks for the reviews. Feedback really helps the author write a story. And again about the word count, it's because i didn't put in that much dialogue last chapter. Because if you try to analyze some OreGaIru fanfics, you'll notice that it's only made up of around 10-20% dialogue and the rest are monologues. I've put in some dialogue in this chapter so i guess that'll bump this fic's word count. But it's still very dialogue heavy. Lastly, this chap. Will be the end of this fic's "Middle School Arc" as i'd like to call it, that started off last chapter.**

 **And that's it.**

 **Enjoy!**

"Driver's License"

 _Those words stopped all of my thought processes. Dad's right, why didn't i think of this earlier!? Of course, to drive legally, you'd need a license. But who said i was gonna drive legally? Besides, you'd only need a license when you're on a main road. And i'll be in Mt. Chiba's downhill, and as far as i know, mountain passes don't have main roads. Unless there is, just that i'm not aware of it._

 _Anyway, dad's waiting for my response or just any response from anyone._

 _Might as well give him one then._

"Hachi doesn't really need a license. After all, he's still only 14. They won't give him one."

 _And of course, my mom beat me to it. But still, thank you mom, after all, your permission is very well needed._

 _Also, i don't get that many chances to tell you this, but i really love you mom._

 _Well that came out very weird_

"Well you're right. And he'll only be in Mt. Nokogiri's downhill, so he really won't need one."

What's the problem then?

 _I was about to ask, when mom beat me to it ... again_

"So what's the problem?"

"Well ya' know, maybe he's interested in places other than Mt. Chiba's downhill"

Dad glanced at me before continuing.

"And when he does go to other places he'll need a license"

Now this time, Dad really looked at me. And it looked like he wanted a reply.

Sensing that my mom isn't gonna be the one to give him that. Since she already gave one to Dad years ago(lel).

Letting out a light cough, the attention was now fully mine. I gave one final glance at mom's general direction before giving my response to Dad-who now looked like a kid eager to know what dinner is, or a king if you can recall(lel).

 _It's now or never, i guess._

"Don't worry Dad, Mt. Chiba's downhill is what my goal is, so i guess it'll be pretty long before you'll hear me in someplace like Tokyo."

"If you can master the downhill of Mt. Chiba"

Said Dad in a mocking tone. Who, while was clearly giving me a smug look, had eyes of hope and happiness. Happiness because of my eagerness(hey it rhymes). And he's probably hoping i won't crash his car.

"I'm happy for you son"

"Thanks Mom, Dad"

"Let's stop the drama right there.I still have to teach you how to drive"

 _And with resolve evident in my eyes, i now decided to finally be someone. Someone who will be the very best, the world has ever had._

 _That sounded really cool! But i doubt i'll be the very best._

 _No! That's not good Hachiman. You hafta be positive! Clear your mind from all the doubts you have and soon your worries will be gone._

 _Why did i even ask Dad if i can drive his car again?_

 _Oh right, because i wanna feel the excitement again._

The sudden rush of blood.

My skin all sweaty, eyes teary.

I guess i have my hormones to blame. After all, i am already 14. And puberty hits kids as early as 9 years old and as late as 13. But it depends if you're a male or a female. Because from what i heard or read-i can't remember- females mature faster than males. Both physically and psychologically. But mostly physically.

 _Oops, damn you hormones!_

 _Heck, now that i've calmed down, my resolve's all low now. I just wanna be in my bed with vita-chan._

 _But i can't do that. Now that i showed my parents so much resolve._

 _It'll break their hearts! Seeing their son so eager at doing something with so much resolve, then finding out that their son gave up without even trying._

 _It's like seeing some chance that you and your crush may be a couple. Then rejecting you, saying that she was only nice to you because you looked like you have no friends and finishing it with a "Can't we just be friends instead?"_

 _And of course, you can't blame her. After all, you were the one that misunderstood her actions._

 _Phew._

 _Definitely not speaking from experience here. After all, Orimoto was so nice to me, no, to everyone._

 _In fact, she was so nice that she even tried to soften the harsh blow of the rejection winds._

 _Tried_

 _And she stayed nice till the very end._

"Hurry up son, you have to sleep early. You still have classes tomorrow.

Said Dad with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"' _Kay"_

 _And with that my fate was now sealed. I don't think i'll be the very best but i'll try._

 _For the days of the moping Hachiman ends here._

 _It'll be the start of the new Hachiman._

 _One that races with his Dad's old car… And that's about it._

 _Oh well_

 _This is gonna be one heck of a middle school life._

 _ **Lucky8**_

 **(8 months later)**

 _Hey, i heard there's been some strange sounds people've been hearing these last few months on Mt. Nokogiri every night._

 _Really? How come?_

 _Well there were some witnesses who said that they were hearing sounds on the mountain. At first they thought it was just some cars. But some say that it's the spirit that died years ago on the same mountain._

 _That's really creepy!_

 _Yeah_

 _What was it though?_

 _They weren't really sure. So they decided to take a look._

 _So what did they see?_

 _Yeah, were they cars? Or was it really a ghost all along?!_

 _Calm down you two. Anyway they searched for the sound at night. And they found it! But what they saw was really odd._

 _What did they see?_

 _Well, a car._

 _Really? A car!?_

 _Well that was pretty anti-climatic_

 _Yeah_

 _But what about the car is weird?_

 _Well, this is from only what i've heard. So listen closely._

 _We're listening_

 _Well, it was because it wasn't really a car_

 _So it was a ghost?!_

 _No_

 _Then what was it?_

 _A weird mix of both_

 _Huh?_

 _Like a ghost car?_

 _Yeah_

 _How's that even possible?_

 _Well, they said it was a car. But it was very mysterious … and fast, like there's no driver in the seat that's afraid of crashing!_

 _Now that's creepier!_

Unbeknownst to the 3 of them, the subject of their conversation's owner was just a couple of meters away from them.

His distance wasn't so short that it would seem like he was eavesdropping, and it wasn't so long that he wouldn't be able to hear them either.

 _Yeah, really creepy_

 _Right!_

 _But if it's true that it really is a ghost, then it would have some sort of name right?_

 _Yeah, 'bout that. Are you ready to hear it?_

 _More than evah!_

 _Well then here goes nothing_

 _As if on cue, the driver of the mysterious car uttered words that sent chills to everyone that heard it._

 _ **Chiba's Horny Devil**_

 **Ahahahahahaha. Get it? Hornet? Red Car? Devil?**

 **And thus, the first arc ends. Sensei'll be introduced next chapter!**

 **So did you like it? I really hope you did.**

 **And here's my response to the reviews:**

 **Predator7: It's not really an Initial D fusion. It's more like a Daytona USA one actually. While this fic was inspired by Daytona USA, Initial D inspired me to make a fanfic about cars. Thanks!**

 **Ruffess: The Monte Carlo 8man's using is a 6th gen SS Supercharger so yeah. Thanks for the suggestions. As i said before, feedback from the reader helps the author in his story.**


	3. Chapter 3 Oh well, Nightcore will do

**A\N: Turd Chap.'s eer bois.**

 **Hey, if you're looking for an OreGaIru X Initial D fanfic. Then this prolly ain't what you lookin for. Cuz diz fic's just your typical** _ **boy meets girl**_ **romance. Except our boy here's 8 and our girl-or should i say woman?-is his fakkin teacher.**

 **So yeah.**

 **Some trash...**

 **Proff: 2342! What is the meaning of this?**

 **Edgy Kid: The meaning of what, sir?**

 **Proff: This trash! You call this a fanfic?**

 _ **Edgy Kid is now sweating profusely!**_

 **Edgy Kid: y-yes sir.**

 **Proff: Wut? Then dat means if i pick off yer ass wipes and post it on dis shithole culled fanfiction, i've got me a fanfic?!**

 _ **Warning! Proff's blowing off some steam now!**_

 **Edgy Kid: eek!**

 _ **Of course, being the oh-so edgy kid he is, 2342's only option now was to dab...**_

 _ **And it was cringey.**_

 **Proff: Ya look lyke shet.**

 _ **He can only cry tears of salt.**_

 _ **And now he runs to his grandma's basement**_

 **Edgy Kid: y-yes sir.**

 **Oneshot Done! Okay, i'm gonna take a break from all this. See you never!**

 _ **Proceeds to cry in bed.**_

 _Chiba's Horny Devil_

 _That's so embarrassing!_

Honestly, where did that nickname even come from?! I mean look at me. Do i look like a devil to you?

...

W-well, my eyes may look like some imp from Doom. So i guess i may look like a devil to some, since most people'd look at a person's eyes first when seeing a stranger...

But i don't look horny!

While yes, my eyes do give off the impression that i'm a perverted old man. I can assure you that I'm most certainly not!

 _Though that's pretty hard to believe since it's coming from the man in question himself._

Though at first glance, i do look like a perverted old man. With my eyes that look like that of dead fish and a very tired looking posture.

 _My hunched back certainly doesn't help me make a better outer image either._

But enough about that. After all, outside appearances are nothing but gift wrappers.

Yea you heard me right, like gift wrappers.

Because like gift wrappers, outside appearances just mask out the inner package, the actual gift, _the real you._

Not unlike gift wrappers though, outside appearances-when utilised properly-give off a sense of mystery.

Like a _facade_ that was built meticulously over time.

But it all comes down to the one who wraps the gift. In this sense, the one who builds the facade.

Then in that sense, wouldn't the one who wraps be you?

The wrapper is only that, a wrapper. But a wrapper can mislead one to the identity of the wrapped.

Like how our skin pretty much distracts us from what's underneath...

 _All the blood and veins. With muscles and fat to boot!_

 _..._

 _So basically, in very simple words;_

 _The one who wraps the gift=people, your environment, sudden events that happened in your life. Or maybe you_

 _Gift wrapper=facade, gestures, defences_

 _Gift=You or your intentions, feelings, thoughts, etc._

Now the question stands; Who receives the gift?

 _You? Your crush? Loved ones? The cat? (So that's why komachi's been giving you expensive cat food!)_

 _Who knows? Certainly not me_

I remember an old friend of mine who once said these words;

If thou wishes to know who thee is, then thy wish is but impossible to grant,

For only ye who questions thyself knows what thy truly asks.

..

Yes, my brain's exhausted. But i don't think i can reach that level without trying out some meth beforehand.

 **Lucky8**

 _All those driving must've been taking a toll in my brain_

As you probably know, I'm Hikigaya Hachiman. A not so very normal kid in his 14's.

Why i know that you know what i already know, you ask?

 _I heard it from the author himself- Hikigaya Hachiman, 20XX_

What was i talking about again?

Oh right, we were talking about me, Hachi!

 _EDO EDO EDO EDO EDO_

 _!EDOJIIIIII!_

Okay, i promise i'll stop now.

 **Lucky8**

"I'm sorry. But you're just not my type"

"Wait! We can settle this one. We can still get to know each other!"

\- my love life

I'm tired of all this.

Always trying, always getting rejected.

Honestly, it's just so tiring that sometimes i question myself if i'm a slave driver to you guessed it, myself.

But i still try.

Because i believe that hard work pays no one but the worker. So i work, hoping that someday i can find what i'm looking for.

But what am i looking for? Is it wealth?

 _I think almost everyone looks for that_

Then is it fame?

 _Again, almost everyone wants that. Even self proclaimed loners are loners because atleast once in their life, they sought for fame, popularity; being important… relevant._

Then what is it? What is it that i truly seek?

 _What does Hiratsuka Shizuka want?_

 _..._

There are a lot of things people don't know about in this world.

They say only you know what you want.

But why is it that i don't know what i want?

Am i an exception to that saying?

Were they simply wrong?

Or maybe, just maybe…

 _I'm special?_

 _..._

Humans are creatures that thrived through **civilization**.

 **Civilization** is the process by which a **society** or place reaches an advanced stage of social development and organization.

A **society** is a group of people involved in persistent **social interaction** , or a large social group sharing the same geographical or social territory.

 **Social interaction** is **the way people talk and act with each other** and various structures in society.

-Google

 _The way people talk and act with each other._

 _..._

Bottomline is... we people need other people in order to live.

 _So why i am here at Sobu High; marking essays, and not in a graveyard ?_

…

Easy

It's because i have someone… someone i cherish

Someone that i don't really think i need to survive. But rather, someone i need, to evolve, to progress

To change

...

 **Evolution is change** in the heritable characteristics of biological populations over successive generations.

 **Natural selection** is only one of several mechanisms that can cause evolution.

Natural selection can occur with or without **environmental change**.

In a constant environment, natural selection will keep a population stable and essentially **maintain the** _ **status quo**_ **.**

In a **changing environment** , natural selection will **favor** variations that result in a **better fitness** in the **new environment** , resulting in **adaptation** and evolution.

-Google

Sounds familiar?

...

 **(Well it should. After all, it's been the subject of many conversations and stories here in fanfiction. It's even sometimes the topic of conversations in stories)**

…

 _Well it sure sounds familiar to me._

Wait, why do i sound so negative and cryptic today?

 _Oh shit, it reminds me of... him_

"Sensei, here's the whole class 1-F's essays you asked me to collect" Oh fuck, who's there?

Turning around to see who it is, i was greeted with a face i expected to see.

It's a student. A very smart student amongst the 3rd years. He wears a deadpan look and a very plain pair of glasses.

"Oh, so it's just you _Big Nig_ -i mean Sakamoto. You gave me quite the shock there" Because you know, he always wears that poker face.

"Yeah, it shows on your beautiful face." That made me choke on my nonexistent sleeping pills "Anyway, i'll just put these here"

"O-okay" Was the response i gave.

And with that he nodded briefly and left immediately. Like my past dates, that of course, failed.

 _Too bad he's gay._

 **A\N: *Senbon Zakura in the background* Well that was short.**

 **Anywho, thank you for reading another chapter of** _ **Lucky8.**_ **Also, if you're looking for cars, then you'll have to wait for like, 2 chapters more. I still have to write some of these character's backgrounds and daily life so i can give an explanation on what's about to happen.**

 **That's the beauty of fanfiction though. It's a fan's work; a fan's fiction.**

 **And because it's fiction, i can totally write me some KomachixTotsuka whenever i get the chance.**

 **...**

 _ ***Ting go skraa* Chance suddenly appeared!**_

 _ **Go, my horrid pipedreams!**_

 _ ***Onee-chan sugoi! Senpai yamete!***_

 _ **Horrid pipedreams, use Ctrl+Shift+N!**_

 _ **Pipedreams used incognito mode.**_

 _ **Chance is trapped in**_ _ **anendlessvoidfullofmylewdfantasiesandcringydelusions.**_ _ **It can't move!**_

 _ **We're not done yet... Horrid pipedreams, use google docs!**_

 _ **Pipedreams used google docs. It's super effective!**_

 _ **What will senpai do?**_

 _ **ItemsPok**_ _ **é**_ _ **BallsBallstoactuallywritesomethinglikethat**_

 _ **Use Ballstoactuallywritesomethinglikethat ?**_

 _ **Use**_

 _ **Cancel**_

 _ **Senpai used Ballstoactuallywritesomethinglikethat.**_

 _ **Gotcha! Chance was caught.**_

 _ **Chance's**_ _ **remainingresolvetobefreedfromthecursesofeverychuuni'sdelusions**_ _ **is completely gone.**_

 **Yeah!**

…

 **Well that was bad.**


End file.
